When you ask a woman "What makes you feel good?" it's an act of rebellion for her to answer with the truth.
So, we're raising our hands to be part of the little ways women can care for their own moods.
Virginia is an ironic poster woman for death.
A smiling, effervescent, optimist, the former stand-up comic and class clown changes the energy of the room when her laugh begins - which is immediately. A self-proclaimed insomniac with a big heart and a love for adrenaline, Virginia’s work brings her face-to-face with mortality at a pace that would crush the rest of us. Her magic appears to come from the ability to stay grounded and open-hearted during crises.
Virginia opened up to tell us about her work - including some unconventional tributes she’s received - her moods, and how she takes care of herself in the face of chaos.
You’re a paramedic by trade. What drew you to such a high-stakes, life-and-death career?
I’m an insomniac with a big heart and a love for adrenaline. The moment everything clicked for me was when I was 15 and alone at home. A terrible car accident happened right outside my parents' house. With no one else around, I called 911 and jumped in to help as best as I could. I only had basic babysitting first aid training, but with the injuries involved, I had to act quickly. When the paramedics arrived, I was in awe of how calm and efficient they were amidst the chaos, taking care of everyone so swiftly. That was the first time I experienced the rush of being responsible in a high-stakes situation.
How tough do you find it to work with people on their worst days, or in some cases their last day?
I am deeply honoured to be the person who can step in and help others on what may be their worst or even final day. It's a privilege to be the face of calm, the helping hand, and the reassuring voice when everything feels out of control.
Bearing witness to tragedy and trying to make sense of it is not something I take lightly. I see it as my responsibility to respond, to try to alter the course of events, even though the outcome is sometimes beyond my control. While I can’t always change the end result, I can show up, do my best, and be the steady presence people need in those critical moments. It’s a responsibility I carry with pride and purpose.
How do you manage to get through those tragic times at work? Deaths, for example…
When I face tragic situations at work, I remind myself that this isn’t my personal emergency. I didn’t cause it, and the outcome is mostly out of my hands. My job is to step in and help clean up the aftermath, and calm the situation down as best I can. I honour my own courage for being willing to do that.
My work partner, who’s my work wife, therapist, and best friend, is by my side through it all. Having her familiar face in those tough moments helps more than I can say. We’ve developed a kind of telepathic communication, trading eyebrow raises, “holy shit” eyes, and knowing nods. After difficult calls, we talk things out—sometimes in the back of the truck, having heart-to-hearts about life, death, and everything in between. A dark sense of humor always takes the sting out of it, letting us laugh in the face of chaos.
I rely on my training to stay detached, enabling me to work swiftly and efficiently. Taking the personal aspect out of the situation allows me to anticipate things before they happen, always staying two steps ahead. Besides, I know I can always treat myself to a well deserved little break down after work, usually in a long, hot bath.
What’s the weirdest death-related event that’s happened in your job - that you don’t mind sharing, of course.
After 15 years as a paramedic, I’ve gathered road stories that would leave most “normies” curled up in a corner, sucking their thumbs. One unexpected highlight was receiving a shout-out in an obituary. I was with a woman in the back when her mother passed away, and after supporting her during that vulnerable time, I learned a week later that she had thanked me in the obituary. Recognition like that is rare, so it meant a lot to me.
Another memorable moment came when I made a dying person laugh with a corny joke about how I pass out at the sight of blood. It was an unexpected last laugh that helped ease the heaviness of the situation for me and made my inner stand-up comedian proud.
Oh, and I once randomly had a rap song written for me by Bif Naked. A friend recommended me to a YouTube project called “Letters from Caregivers,” I was interviewed over the phone about caring for my dying mother during Covid. Bif Naked and Juno nominee D-Sisive turned that interview into a truly beautiful rap song. I still can’t believe it, and the 90’s fangirl in me hasn’t fully recovered. The song, which you can listen to here, still makes me cry.
That is unbelievable!
What is the one thing about your job that you want people to know?
It's a wild world out there. You never know what someone is going through, so always choose to be kind. A little compassion can make a significant difference in someone's day, especially during tough times.
Given the potential darkness in your job, it seems surprising that you’re a diehard Halloween lover. Tell me about what this looks like in your life.
Skull decor everywhere! I've always loved Halloween, a passion passed down from my mom. Studying anatomy and the human body only deepened my obsession with skeletons. Even my wedding had skull centrepieces and carved pumpkins!
I've traveled a lot for Halloween, spending it in places like New Orleans, staying at Lizzie Borden's Bed and Breakfast, exploring Sleepy Hollow, celebrating Día de los Muertos in Oaxaca, Mexico, and even experiencing Día de las Ñatitas, which translates to "pug-nosed ones," in Bolivia. There, people bring decorated skulls to the cemetery, adorning them with flower crowns, lit cigarettes, and sunglasses, all while singing and dancing.
What brings you joy in life?
Travel is essential for me! Living in this small town where I work means it’s filled with memories of bizarre or troubling events. While I’ve mostly adapted, I often feel the urge to “step off the earth” and escape to new places. When I do, it’s like a weight lifts off my shoulders. These experiences recharge my energy and rekindle my passion.
One of the perks of shift work, though it can be soul-sucking, is that it allows me to take extended breaks. During those times, I venture as far away as possible. My travels have taken me to Belize, Guatemala, Nicaragua, the Swimming Pigs in Exuma, Egypt, Bali, Prague, Poland, Amsterdam, Bolivia, Iceland, Faroe Islands, Easter Island, Chile, Oaxaca, Mexico City, New Orleans, and New Mexico, among others.
Right now, I have my sights set on Mongolia for the Eagle Hunting Festival.
Sounds like you should be starting an incredible travel blog!
What makes you feel safe or like you belong?
My support system. My husband, my sister, my work partner, and my best friend from kindergarten. These are my people, and I can lean on them for anything
What are some small ways you take care of your well-being?
STEPS! When at work and not on a call I can usually be found doing laps around the base and listening to a murder podcast or something spooky. I like to keep moving and active. Keeps me alert and nimble.
What is the one small thing you do that always turns your mood around?
Cuddling my hairless cats really grounds me. I have a whole gaggle of pets—two dogs, Sugar and Chunk; three Sphynx cats, Betty, Ruth, and Satchel; a fish named Q Tip; frogs named Old Dirty Bastard and Dimebag Darrell; Bubba and Gump the shrimp; and Snailor Moon the snail. I love spending time with all my pets but there’s something truly special about that skin-to-skin contact with my baldies; it’s powerful stuff!
The thing that brought unexpected peace in your life was or is…
Plants, plants, and more plants! I started gardening about 12 years ago, and it was quite a learning curve. Now, it has transitioned indoors, and my living room looks like a rainforest cafe. Watching things grow, getting my hands and feet in the dirt, and learning about different bugs and plants provides a calming and peaceful distraction. It really helps shut off my brain and makes me feel at ease.
You feel sexiest when…
I feel sexiest when I accomplish something challenging, like climbing a mountain or finishing a tough hike. That blend of grit and achievement gives me a glow and makes me feel truly alive.
You feel most inspired and powerful when…
I feel most inspired and powerful when I deliver a baby. In my 15-year career, I’ve delivered five, and it's a call that doesn't come often. It's one of the scariest yet most rewarding experiences. When I hear that first cry and everyone in the room breathes a sigh of relief, it's an incredible feeling.
One word: what are you most angry about?
War
If you could give your 20 year old self advice, you would say…
Travel more and explore the world! Stop worrying about what others think, embrace who you are, and love yourself fiercely. Stay funny—that's going to serve you well. You've got this!
Other than your family and friends, the mark you hope to leave behind as your legacy is…
The most UNHINGED Estate Sale this town has ever seen. Seriously, it's going to be bonkers.
As a long-time collector of quirky art and maximalist design, my home is like a rainbow explosion, with walls covered in items I’ve carefully—or sometimes precariously—brought back from markets I’ve discovered during my relentless globe trotting.
Favourite things that boost your mood, right now?
It's soup and scary movie season, and I'm thriving right now! I love the crunch of leaves, the chill of cold nights, and relaxing in bubble baths. This is truly my time!
You can continue to follow Virginia’s work and life on Instagram @v_nope
Stay connected for a future video interview with Virginia, and hear more about how she continues to live authentically in her work, wellness, womanhood, sex, love, life, and everyday moods.